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Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Life Interrupted

Nineteen Ninety Nine was the year my life changed forever. Who knew that something that happens so fast could have such far reaching effects. But it can. Life can change in an instant. It wasn't the most catastrophic thing that could happen, but it was a major change, nonetheless.

I was working as a facility nurse at a small assisted living facility. I had been to lunch and upon my return noticed one of the residents crossing the busy four lane road in front of the building alone. I knew her to have dementia and knew she was not safe - so I ran after her. What happened next has some comedic irony to it. I got in the middle of the road. I know it was the middle because I remember looking down and seeing the double yellow line painted on the asphalt. I got in the middle of the road and tripped. Anti climactic? Well... when I tripped my leg twisted and I could hear the characteristic "thunk" as my hip was wrenched out of the socket. I fell to the pavement and thought, "I'll just lay here a minute and then I'll be able to get up..." Wrong. Within a minute, I knew that something was painfully, terribly wrong. The irony? An 80 something year old woman with dementia crossed a four lane road successfully while I, at age 38, had fallen and dislocated and fractured my hip. Funny, right? 

God's protection wasted no time... Here I was lying incapacitated in the middle of a busy road. Did I mention it was four lanes? A co-worker who had taken the day off "just happened" to be driving by and saw me fall. She blocked two lanes of traffic with her car. The FedEx truck coming the other direction saw me as well and blocked the other two lanes. I fell down, but I would not be hit by a car on this day.

Then began an agonizing process of being transported to the hospital, x-ray'd, CT scanned, and who knows what else with no benefit of pain medication. Finally, after 5 hours of torture I was taken to surgery where the surgeon cleaned bone fragments out of the joint and put everything back together. He told my family that the damage was as extensive as someone who had been t-boned in a car accident. After several days, I went home with a brace from my waist to my knees. I could not take it off for ANYTHING. I couldn't bend more than 45 degrees and it kept my legs spread apart at about a 45 degree angle. No showers. I will leave using the toilet to your imagination. Not comfortable.

I wish I could say that I was asking God daily for the lesson in all of this. I wish I could say that I was searching His Word for how to handle this debacle. I had been married to my second husband less than a year and we had four - count em - four teenagers living in our house. I was not being very super spiritual. I was not being very spiritual at all. I was pretty darn resentful and difficult to live with, if you want to know the truth. 

In spite of me, God was still good. He provided meal after meal from wonderful friends. Phone calls, visits, cards, flowers became part of my day to day existence. Often, they would try to encourage me by telling me that God was working this to my benefit. One friend told me I should ask God what lesson He was trying to teach me. I didn't care and I didn't want to hear it.

Then, six weeks later, came the icing on the cake. An MRI revealed that during the time my hip was dislocated the circulation had been disrupted for too long and the bone was dying - a condition known as avascular necrosis. The pain was unbelievable, but the disability was worse. At 38, I could barely do any housework, I couldn't buy groceries by myself because I couldn't stand that long, if I went to the mall or a theme park with the kids, I had to go in a wheelchair. The only option was a total hip replacement. 

I won't go into great length here because this is long enough already, but the next two years were spent in a legal battle with Worker's Compensation just to get authorization for the surgery. At the time, I could not see what God could possibly be doing that was working to my good. 

While we were fighting for surgery, I was unable to work but because I was covered by WC, they had to pay my salary while I was home. God provided.

During the same time period, we had a child who was having significant emotional issues. He was not doing well in school. We were constantly headed to doctor and counseling appointments. He needed supervision. Even though he was 17, he couldn't drive. It occurred to me one day, that had I not broken my hip, I don't know what we would have done. Because I was able to be home all the time, I was able to get him to appointments and his GED program. I was able to be present with him when he needed it and he was not left along during a fragile, vulnerable time in his life. God not only provided for us materially, but also emotionally.

The other positive that came from this time, was the time I was able to spend in Bible study and prayer. I often had the house to myself when all the kids were in school and in those quiet hours I had a season of spiritual growth and sweet time with the Lord that I have not experienced since to that extent. Once I got over being angry and started to listen to Him, we had some wonderful moments together. God provided spiritually.

Eventually, I had my surgery. Our oldest child moved out. The child that was struggling moved home to his biological mom. We were down to two kids, I went back to work, life returned to normal. Sigh. I had grown to like "abnormal". 

I look back on that time now almost wistfully. God had a plan. Not just for me, but for my family. It was a good plan. A plan to give us a future and a hope. He did work it all together for our good, even if it was a painful process and I learned to look for the lessons in the difficult times. (Jer 29:11; Rom 8:38) Life interrupted turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me at the time.

(There is another aspect to this story that I never even mentioned...maybe I'll do a sequel...)

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